“A friend is a gift you give yourself.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson
The day is almost over and I’m just getting around to my weekly post (smh). My apologies for the late hour but lately I’ve been having a hard time focusing. Like many folks, I have a lot going on and some weeks I handle it better than others. The past few have been a bit challenging so when I thought of what I could share today, the first thing that came to mind was the unique gift of friendship, which has been a saving grace for me recently. I found a quote from Robert Louis Stevenson that reads: “A friend is a gift you give yourself.”
It’s simple enough, but think about all the people you call friends. Do you use the term loosely or are you choosey about who you let into your circle? I can honestly say that I battle with how to handle friendships. I qualify under the choosey personality. I can count on one hand the amount of people that fall under that category. Sure, I have people that I come in contact with regularly but to call them friend means that they are like family. What’s mine is yours… if I got it then you got it. So because I value friendships like that I have to keep it exclusive.
One of my daily prayers is asking God to “expose, reveal, and remove anyone that does not have my best interest at heart.” I’m sensitive to the fact there may be someone in my exclusive friend circle that may fall into that category one day. It’s happened before! There’s a fear of not wanting to let go of old friendships because of the time that you’ve invested in them. What I’ve learned is that God will never leave you without. That person you may have held so dear, that betrayed you or showed their true selves in a time when you needed them most, will not break you. God has someone lined up to come into your life and be what that friend couldn’t be to you. I’m not referring to anything romantic. I’m talking about the bare bones of a true, untainted friendship. We must value them and nurture them by making time for our friends. Give attention to those that are there for you in times of crisis, in times of celebration, and all of the times in between. There’s no value to place on a true friend and if you have ONE consider yourself blessed!
I love the quote at the beginning of this post. We can often treat others better than we treat ourselves. We give others advice that we don’t often follow on our own. Be cautious of who you let into your circle. Have a pure heart when choosing who to let in. It can’t be for financial gain or making connections to an industry or group… those “friendships” never last. The people you call “friends” must fit the definition of what you need in a friend and more importantly you must be able to reciprocate it. In any friendship, it takes two! So don’t short change yourself. Embrace the possibility of new friendships and acknowledge the ones that have run its course. If friendship is truly a gift from you to YOU, then make sure it’s the best gift possible! You deserve it and so do they!
Be Bold,
Be Fabulous,
Be You
Tuesdays with Bianca
Tuesdays with Bianca 
Friendship is the topic that will NEVER run out of posts!!!! It is so important to recognize that as seasonal beings, God does not necessarily mean for each “friend” to be the lifetime person. That saying, “God places people in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, ain’t nothing but the truth. Value true and proven friendships, but equally value those that are not b/c they are purposed to help us grow and learn. So praise God for it all. Thanx for ur fabulous post sis.
This was an awesome message sis^_^ Over the years I have PLANTED in my heart “If I haven’t known you for years(Like my cousins or BFF) I don’t want to get to know you”. I have a HUGE family(As you know) & it’s FILLED with women and I always felt as if my cousins were MORE THAN enough for me as far as “FRIENDS” now I have my BFF Shauna however other than her I was NEVER really open to OPENING MYSELF up for NEW FRIENDSHIPS!! I had ALWAYS been CLOSED OFF to that….HOWEVER, about almost 2 yrs ago God placed on my heart to OPEN to a SPECIFIC young lady and I felt uneasy at first actually building our friendship via EMAIL hardly EVER speakining on the phone or even in person that much and after MONTHS of EMAILING back & forth I will say I consider her TODAY one of the females I am MOST close to besides my BFF. So, I PRAISE GOD 4 tugging @ my heart b/c as ALWAYS God was “RIGHT ON TIME” and I know how much she TRULY means to my life b/c I miss her SOOOO^_^ So, YES open up & HOLD ON 2 TRUE FRIENDSHIPS!! BTW I know we don’t talk often BUT I MUST say I know I’m comfortable with what God is BUILDING in us b/c of how OPEN I have been w/ you in some of our convos so PRAISE GOD 4 THAT 2……SMOOOCH
;-)SDOT
YES! I completely agree. I have a comfort with you as well that is out of the norm but our connection was God ordained so I’m not at all surprised. You are an awesome person and I’m sooo happy that we connected… and just think, this is JUST the beginning! I’m excited!
Bianca