Today marks the anniversary of one of the best and possibly one of the worst days of my life. On this very day in 2003, I was on top of the world. Happy and experiencing the best feelings I’ve ever felt… but just five years later on this very same day I felt like my world crumbled around me. You ever feel like you have no control over anything. Fear, pride, anger, sadness…they all get into one giant knot in your gut that is almost paralyzing. Well that was me and depression was taking its toll on me. But praise God for deliverance and most importantly forgiveness! I can stand before you today on a day that has meant so much to me and say that I’m FREE!! Free from it all!!
I’m so tremendously grateful for God’s grace. It’s by no coincidence that my “blog” day fell on April 19th. God is so clever. Today I stand clear headed, prosperous, and walking in divine peace. It’s truly a gift from God but don’t be confused… I worked hard to get here!! It took years of coming to grips with my own faults, most notably my pride. I had to acknowledge how much my pride consumed me. I couldn’t let anyone know that they got the best of me. I would die before I admitted that they hurt me and I would rarely find the need to apologize first. Yeah I had issues. But through prayer and constant faith, I’ve grown tremendously.
I know that I’m not the only one that has anniversaries or memories that can keep you imprisoned. It could be the death of a loved one, a wedding date that never came to be, a bad break up… whatever the case you can only dwell on it but so long. How long will you feel defeated?! I know you’re not sure how to move past it and you don’t know if you can. I’m living proof that it’s possible! You just have to release it. Acknowledge what you have control over and let go of everything else! There is more in store for you. There are more anniversaries to be created. Don’t let one day of the year send you into a downward spiral. You are stronger than that, even if you don’t feel that you are.
Declare today, that your dry days, your defeated days are over! You are powerful, you win, and you will not fail! Let me give you a few words to pull on when you’re not quite feeling like a winner:
Psalm 86:11 “Train me, God, to walk straight; then I’ll follow your true path. Put me together, one heart and mind; then, undivided, I’ll worship in joyful fear. From the bottom of my heart I thank you, dear Lord; I’ve never kept secret what you’re up to. You’ve always been great toward me—what love! You snatched me from the brink of disaster! God, these bullies have reared their heads! A gang of thugs is after me— and they don’t care a thing about you. But you, O God, are both tender and kind, not easily angered, immense in love, and you never, never quit. So look me in the eye and show kindness, give your servant the strength to go on, save your dear, dear child! Make a show of how much you love me so the bullies who hate me will stand there slack-jawed, As you, God, gently and powerfully put me back on my feet.”
Psalm 147:2 “God’s the one who rebuilds Jerusalem, who regathers Israel’s scattered exiles. He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and assigns each a name. Our Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does. God puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.”
Today I welcomed April 19th with a smile because I won!
Tuesdays with Bianca