Angry with God

Yesterday, I was just plain angry. Angry because I felt like life was this big game. It felt like God had the world in this big rat race. Each day we try our best to do our best so that we can have His best. Well, yesterday I wasn’t feeling it. I was tired of trying. I said, “God, you know what I need. You know my heart. Just give it to me already!” I had an entire day to be productive, to make calls, to write scripts, to pay bills and you know what I did? NOTHING! I buried my head under the covers because I was simply angry with God.

Now, today is a new day. I’ve wallowed in my self pity long enough and it’s time to fight. I know some of you are taken back by the fact that I’m admitting to being angry with God. Well, I look at it like this, as much as I love my mother, there have been many, many times that she has gotten under my skin. As much as I adore my fiancé, he too can infuriate me to the point of complete silence for fear of saying something I don’t mean. God is no different. My love for Him has not wavered. I just had a moment. Anger is a natural emotion. It’s unrealistic for anyone to believe that you shouldn’t feel anger, it just matters what you do with that anger. Yesterday, I failed. I let it get the best of me. It just seemed like the world was winning. The most ungodly people can afford to put on the most over the top, gaudy weddings; while I serve God with my whole heart, try every day to live a life that is pleasing to Him and have to scrape together pennies to do the most simple, no fuss wedding you could ever imagine. But God…

Today, I woke up, looked at my devotional that lies beside my bed and went on about my way. I arrived at work to see the other copy that I keep in my office and this time I decided to pick it up. God clearly was trying to get my attention.  I opened it to today’s date, February 21st, and this is what I read:

Simply Believe

“We who first hoped in Christ [who first put our confidence in Him have been destined and appointed to] live for the praise of His glory! Ephesians 1:12

In the world, you don’t believe anything until you see it. When you pray, believe that you receive, and you will get the manifestation of it. In God’s kingdom, you have to believe it first, and then you see it.

Jesus said, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (Matthew 21:22 NIV). God’s ear is turned toward those who pray to him in faith. Peter was the only one who walked on water besides Jesus, but he was also the only one who got out of the boat. Until you make a decision to believe, and then act on it, nothing will happen.”

– “Starting You Day Right” by Joyce Meyer

I so needed to hear this today. No matter how angry we get with God, He’s there for us. If I truly believed that God would grant me the desires of my heart, I wouldn’t have been trying to do it on my own and by my own might. I’ve already declared this to be the year of Favor Pt.2 and I must stand on it. I will speak it with my mouth and I will act on it. Faith is simply acting on what we believe. The first step is believing;  the second step is getting your butt up and working towards it, which includes speaking it out of your mouth. Be conscious not to say anything out of your mouth that goes against what you believe and what God has promised you in His Word.

So what do you believe today? Well if you believe it… get to speaking and acting on it! Be determined to live your best life NOW.




Tuesdays with Bianca


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