Wifey

ludacrisThere will be days when I’m more unapologetic for my viewpoints than others… today would be that day! I just might piss a few people off. Me saying “piss” may have already done the trick but hey… can’t please everyone. So…. The news about Dwyane Wade’s and Ludacris’ new baby mama drama has me on fire! And probably not for the reason you’re expecting to hear. Yes, it’s foul to be in a relationship with a woman for YEARS and father a child by another woman. In most cases I would call the other women “randoms” but I’m not certain that would apply in this case given the information that both women were from the men’s past; as far back as high school for Ludacris. Yes, it’s unfortunate that beautiful women in the spotlight give such a bad name to women in general when they decide to stick it out with men who would devalue them that much. But what’s even more disgusting is the fact that there’s any amount of sympathy for their “main chicks.”  I mean let’s be real, what makes Gabrielle Union and Eudoxie any better than the “baby mamas.” Yeah I said it, and here’s why…dwyane_wade_birthday_gabrielle_union1Just because you willingly give up wifely duties to a man that is not your husband, does not qualify you to demand the “wifely” privilege called “commitment.” Yeah I said that too. When you’re in that game, expect to be played. Demand more, get more. He committed to you? How so? Did he confess his love before God and his family? Did he give you his last name? Did he take care of your heart? No? So what exactly did he do to make you believe he was committed to just you or that you deserve to be set a part? Taking his expensive gifts. Attending all the hottest events. Taking care of his kids. Going on lavish vacations. And of course sexing him to no end. And for what? Because he calls you his “girl” or my favorite, his “black queen?” Oh, you two have an understanding that it’s you two against the world. You his ride or die huh? Well excuse me if I choose to live! It’s truly, truly sad. Not only is it sad for the women involved because it speaks to the value they put on themselves, but even sadder for those young women who will use them as an example of what it takes to get and keep a man.

I grew up believing I didn’t like hanging around women. I hated the cattiness, the backstabbing, the extra that came with being friends with girls. As prissy as I am, I have a hard edge to me that allows me to relate to the simplicity of how men maintain friendships. Now that’s about as far as I can go in claiming to understand the male species. There is so much more that is a mystery to me but if you asked me who I’d rather hang out with, it would most certainly be the guys. Well God is using that to reveal my assignment. I’m learning that I’m assigned to the people I thought I couldn’t deal with at all. I’m tasked with showing women there’s bigger out there if you require it. You will most certainly get what you are willing to settle for and ladies, it’s time out for settling! I don’t care how lavish a lifestyle he can provide, is it worth your sanity? Is it worth your peace? Is it worth having to accept other women and children into your life? What are you truly worth??

And for the record, I can hear some of you saying, “well it’s because you’ve never been presented with an opportunity like these women have.” You’re thinking if I got a taste of what that life can offer, I’d sing a different tune. Well, you would be wrong. I’ve dated the professional athlete. It didn’t last long and not because he wasn’t willing. It was because I wasn’t comfortable. Money doesn’t control me. Status is not impressive. Some of the most powerful people are the most obnoxious. My personality won’t allow me to take but so much but even greater are my morals. I have standards and I won’t be treated as less than I’m worth by anyone. So before you go thinking I’m some toad that couldn’t get in the game… been there, done that. It’s overrated!

God is calling me to be passionate about something in my life. I can’t say I’ve ever truly been passionate about anything outside of family. So the more I ask Him, the more he reveals. It’s stories like Dwyane and Luda’s that show me what I’m passionate about and that’s seeing women demand more out of life, seeing their true beauty, and preparing themselves to be wives and not wifeys! Be on the look out… I have something for you ladies! It’s my assignment.

Happy Tuesday!!

Love, Bianca

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9 thoughts on “Wifey

  1. Great post! I couldn’t agree with you more! This is such a different perspective than what’s widely accepted in the world today…(indeed a ‘much needed’ assignment…I’m excited to see more). It actually just helped me in a current relationship situation I’m dealing with…#confirmation! =) Thank you & again, great post! Keep doing what you’re doing!

  2. Your encouragement and excitement is truly a breath of fresh air! The response to this particular post has been through the roof and broken a record for number of views. The emails, calls, shares, and texts have been amazing but you get the star for being the only one to leave a comment on the blog! lol… I appreciate the support and cheers to confirmation!! Gotta love when that happens! 🙂

  3. Love it! very well put. I was reading a article yesterday about young women being ok with and acceptable of the fact that they will have to share their husbands. My thoughts ran alone the lines of what you just posted, when did we start devaluing ourselves and become accepting of whatever is thrown our way just because its wrapped in a nice neat package. They are dogging these women calling them names when they are all in the same boat, not the other woman because she is only the other woman if you are the wife, you are all the same another woman.

    • Thanks for your comment Karla! It’s not about “high” standards, it’s about having standards period. Respect for yourself only comes when you understand your value and that’s what’s missing. Thanks again for the kind words!

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