On the surface it’s a cute picture that makes the girls go “Awww” and the guys go….. Well I think their responses will be quite varied but that’s to be expected. What started out as a simple Instagram post morphed into something much bigger the more I studied it. The choices we make in relationships are all about our perceptions. We can look at the same set of circumstances and come away with completely different opinions based on what we’ve experienced and/or desire in the future. What do you see when you look at this photo?
Here’s my take: The woman is clearly fit herself, which means she’s got her own set of goals she’s working towards. She’s living the same fit lifestyle as her partner which can only mean that she’s a good influence and will help him stay on track at the same time. Even in the midst of her routine she’s not too independent to lend her support during his workout. Technically, he’s doing all the work and she’s just latched on. However, she’s latched on for a purpose. It’s not because she’s bored and has nothing else to do. It’s not because she absolutely has to be there. She’s aware of the goal he’s trying to reach and knows that she can help him reach it quicker than he can by himself. As an added bonus, she has kisses awaiting him each time he reaches his goal. Winning!
If you’ve followed me long enough you’ll know that I get lessons from a lot of things and this is no different. My fellow independent ladies, I know how we can be but listen. Be about your business. Set goals, reach them, and set new ones. At the same time, make time to be that support for the person you love. You say you’re his “ride or die” then prove it with your actions. Make him a priority. Set aside time to make him the focal point and make it enjoyable. Make life fun! No one likes a nag. No one wants to feel like they’re in your shadow and no one wants to feel like they have to do it all. He’s pulling the majority of the weight because that’s his role as a man but we have our own roles to play. In life, as a couple, you’re going to have some heavy lifts. The challenges will keep coming but you’re a team. Get to work doing your part, latch on, and don’t let go until you’ve both made it through. Be his number one fan and of course that means being the sweet kiss he looks forward to after a tough day.
Men, I know it seems like it would be a lot easier to go it alone. We are a lot of work! When you’re alone you’re only responsible for yourself so the only weight you have to lift is your own and if you don’t reach the goal you only disappoint yourself. Some may really never have the desire for a serious relationship or even marriage and that’s all fair. I guess I’m talking to those that just live in fear or have had horrible taste in women. Take your time. Understand your needs and what you truly desire beyond the physical. Once you figure that out, date with purpose. Make sure she has her own life, her own friends, and her own hobbies. When the two of you become one she’ll only make you better because she’s not dead weight. She’s a heavy weight in the since that she’ll take on your dreams along with her own and be there to love and support you to the finish line.
I’ll crown these women I referred to as “heavy weights”. The heavier the weight the less reps needed to build muscle. She may be a heavier lift and pull things out of you that you never knew you could do but you’re growing with her. You’re building with her. You’re not stagnate with her. The women that I’ll refer to as “light weights” require more reps and the goal is usually just to sustain and to tone. You’re not trying to build muscle with that routine. You’re maintaining and if that’s your desire by all means go for it. Just don’t think a light weight is going to get you the same results as the “heavy weight”. It’s just easier. I think you get my point.
And on that note…