Unhappy Tuesday

The day started off abnormal. It was 71 degrees at the end of November after a fierce cold winter blast just days before. I welcomed it with open arms, even though I knew it wouldn’t last long. The day was pretty chill and the evening began with front and center seats to see one of my favorite artists in concert, Chrisette Michele. I knew what lingered ahead but for just a few hours I was able to block it all out and pretend that music was the cure to all of life’s injustices. It was approximately 9:20P when reality hit and I was brought back down to earth. The radio disc jockey announced just two words: NO INDICTMENT. Back to the norm.

fergusonNot at all surprised since we were all being primed for this very outcome. And yes, the days leading up to the announcement gave clear indication that justice would not be served but the priming started well before Mike Brown. Emmitt Till, Rodney King, Sean Bell, Trayvon Martin, and many more names that never made it to the headlines. History repeating itself and the sentiments of fed up Americans sounding like broken records. I had to shut it all off.  I was just so full with anger, sadness, and too many questions without any answers. Continue reading “Unhappy Tuesday”

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Angry with God

Yesterday, I was just plain angry. Angry because I felt like life was this big game. It felt like God had the world in this big rat race. Each day we try our best to do our best so that we can have His best. Well, yesterday I wasn’t feeling it. I was tired of trying. I said, “God, you know what I need. You know my heart. Just give it to me already!” I had an entire day to be productive, to make calls, to write scripts, to pay bills and you know what I did? NOTHING! I buried my head under the covers because I was simply angry with God.

Now, today is a new day. I’ve wallowed in my self pity long enough and it’s time to fight. I know some of you are taken back by the fact that I’m admitting to being angry with God. Well, I look at it like this, as much as I love my mother, there have been many, many times that she has gotten under my skin. As much as I adore my fiancé, he too can infuriate me to the point of complete silence for fear of saying something I don’t mean. God is no different. My love for Him has not wavered. I just had a moment. Anger is a natural emotion. It’s unrealistic for anyone to believe that you shouldn’t feel anger, it just matters what you do with that anger. Yesterday, I failed. I let it get the best of me. It just seemed like the world was winning. The most ungodly people can afford to put on the most over the top, gaudy weddings; while I serve God with my whole heart, try every day to live a life that is pleasing to Him and have to scrape together pennies to do the most simple, no fuss wedding you could ever imagine. But God… Continue reading “Angry with God”

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