Divorced AND Christian? Hmmmm

divorceThe beauty about having a relationship with God over simply doing religion is that you have an open heart to receive messages that are rooted in love and transparency. Pastor Toure Roberts opens his heart to talk on a subject that is deeply rooted in his own personal journey of life after divorce. YES! You heard that right. He is a pastor. He is divorced. Oh and he’s unashamed. Oh and one more thing… HAPPY! Not happy that his marriage didn’t last. No real person enters marriage desiring to be divorced but it takes two mature individuals to recognize what is and is not of God and have the courage to move forward, especially as a spiritual leader.

Now listen, before you throw stones, I come from under a teaching that lives, breaths, and praises all things marriage! My pastors have been married for almost 30 years. They lead an awesome ministry called “Marriage Made EZ” and they offer pre-marital counseling to all members who are contemplating marriage. So I am a huge proponent for marriage. Godly marriage. I desire to be married. I believe that marriage should be something that you do not get out of alive. However, for the first time I witnessed a different side. Not until a few weeks ago did I hear a man of God talk so openly about dividing marriage into two components. Marriages that are ordained of God and those that are entered into outside of the will of God. It’s not to say that all marriages that are done prior to getting saved are doomed. It’s to say that when people grow into their purpose and realize that they are not aligned then it leaves open the question “Is it God’s will for us to sacrifice His purpose in order to save a marriage that wasn’t designed for us?” It’s a heavy topic and one that I’m sure will lead to deep conversations. Which is why I want to try something different this week… Continue reading “Divorced AND Christian? Hmmmm”

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Lessons of a Love Song

Leela James

I heard this song on the radio last night and it bought me to a place that I haven’t been in a long time. The passion in her voice grabbed my attention and drew me into each lyric. I searched forever until I figured out the artist and boy was I excited when I found it! I immediately went to download “Fall For You” by Leela James on iTunes. There’s something about a song that can pull you in by the sincerity of the lyrics. You all should know by now that I’m not hung up on just listening to Gospel music. There are lessons all around us and if we pigeon hole ourselves into songs that only fit a certain standard we miss out on life lessons and opportunities for God to show us how omnipresent He really is. Continue reading “Lessons of a Love Song”

The Heavy Weight Type

workout
On the surface it’s a cute picture that makes the girls go “Awww” and the guys go….. Well I think their responses will be quite varied but that’s to be expected. What started out as a simple Instagram post morphed into something much bigger the more I studied it. The choices we make in relationships are all about our perceptions. We can look at the same set of circumstances and come away with completely different opinions based on what we’ve experienced and/or desire in the future. What do you see when you look at this photo? Continue reading “The Heavy Weight Type”

MAN CRUSH MOMENT (MCM)

In the midst of one of my worst weeks ever, God showed me that He was still moving on my behalf and that my purpose was not going to be sidetracked by my pain. After a few months of talks with the founder of Defined By Christ magazine, I got the email that I’d been waiting on. My first relationship article would be published the following morning! You have to understand that I was in a slump! Nothing was going right and I honestly had forgotten about all that was in the works… until that email. The connection began after posting my most viewed blog post ever titled “Wifey” a few months back. I received emails from all types of people and I was offered many opportunities. The offer from DBC magazine was one of the ones I took seriously and it has come to fruition!

Last week I posted the link to the article to my social media accounts but I wanted to make sure my loyal readers, who may not be connected to me outside of the blog, had a chance to read it. I’m humbled by opportunities that have presented themselves to me and the divine connections that I’ve made over the past few months. I don’t take this assignment lightly and I look forward to seeing what’s next! Until then, I’ll get settled in to my new role as a relationship columnist for DBC magazine!! Hope you enjoy the read…

Continue reading “MAN CRUSH MOMENT (MCM)”

He Tried It

images-8It had been over 10 years since I ventured out towards Columbia Mall. On Saturday, January 25th about 10:50 a.m. I was making my way there. I figured it would take me about 40 minutes to get there and still give me enough time in case I got lost. Again, it had been over 10 years. Well, traffic was light and I may have had a heavy foot (smile) so I got in the area in record time. I’m thinking cool. I’ll drop in the mall to pick up the two things I needed and head over to my meeting. That was until my GPS failed me. I ended up close but not in the exact area I needed to be. Being the timely person I am, I get flustered. I’m annoyed at my GPS and cursing its very existence as I drive in circles. Finally I arrive and it’s now too late to make my pit stop in the mall. Now I’ll have to go after my meeting and could possibly get caught out in the snow that was predicted to come our way. Oh the drama of my life right?? Not even! Continue reading “He Tried It”

Wifey

ludacrisThere will be days when I’m more unapologetic for my viewpoints than others… today would be that day! I just might piss a few people off. Me saying “piss” may have already done the trick but hey… can’t please everyone. So…. The news about Dwyane Wade’s and Ludacris’ new baby mama drama has me on fire! And probably not for the reason you’re expecting to hear. Yes, it’s foul to be in a relationship with a woman for YEARS and father a child by another woman. In most cases I would call the other women “randoms” but I’m not certain that would apply in this case given the information that both women were from the men’s past; as far back as high school for Ludacris. Yes, it’s unfortunate that beautiful women in the spotlight give such a bad name to women in general when they decide to stick it out with men who would devalue them that much. But what’s even more disgusting is the fact that there’s any amount of sympathy for their “main chicks.”  I mean let’s be real, what makes Gabrielle Union and Eudoxie any better than the “baby mamas.” Yeah I said it, and here’s why… Continue reading “Wifey”

Simple Humanity

I really shouldn’t be surprised but I am! I decided at the last minute to reschedule my blogs so that I could repost an older piece that would speak to the legacy of Nelson Mandela. I decided on “Simple Humanity” only to see that the original version was posted almost an exact year ago to date. I posted this last year on 12/11/12. How amazing that it would be so fitting a year later. No, it doesn’t speak to Nelson Mandela directly, but it speaks to everything he stood for and the legacy he left to the world. We honor you Mandela and we’re grateful for your long life of sacrifice, service, and leadership.

At 6:00 this evening, I still wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to share today. I almost thought I would skip this week. That was until I ran into a familiar friend. A friend that may not even remember me or the day we crossed paths. Last year, I wrote a blog about a woman name Elizabeth. A fragile, elderly woman who I met on her way home. Well, as I was rushing off to an event this evening, I caught a glimpse of her… in the same long trench coat, hunched over, juggling the bags in both her hands. I said aloud,  “Elizabeth!!” She couldn’t hear me; my windows were up. She couldn’t see me because we were on opposite sides of the street. I thought about trying to pull over to wait for her but wasn’t sure if I would scare her. I mean it has been ages since our paths crossed and though I gave her my contact to reach out if she ever needed a ride anywhere she had not taken me up on the offer.

Continue reading “Simple Humanity”

Through the Storm

I kept hearing about this amazing video swarming the internet of a man proposing to his girlfriend and marrying her on the same day. Although I’m a hopeless romantic, for some reason there was no urgency in me to watch it. However, after a close friend posted the link on Facebook, I decided to see what all the hype was about. Needless to say I was ill prepared for how truly special and spiritual their story would be. We live in the days where the word “love” is constantly abused and misused. My favorite example is “Love & Hip Hop.” It’s one of the top rated shows among African Americans and there’s absolutely nothing about the show that speaks to love. Greed? Yes. Lust? Yes. Fame? Yes. Living with your baby momma and girlfriend of over 11 years, then marrying your “side-piece” is not love. Trying to get one of your baby mommas to agree to a paternity test after fathering two children just months apart from each other is not love. But I digress. The bigger issue is that the more we misrepresent love, the harder it is for us to recognize the real thing. Ladies and gentlemen, the video you just saw is the REAL THING!

Anyone who watched this video can’t help but to feel the love…and not just between the couple. The real love story is their love for Jesus and making him the center of their love story. How can any love story be told without the One who is Love? That’s what makes the story so beautiful to me! I had all intentions to let the video speak for itself without any real commentary from me BUT I’m a writer and well, I just couldn’t help myself. Since there’s really not much I can add to make the message any more clearer, I’ll just highlight a few things I noted while watching their beautiful love story. I’m a little wierd so I pick out the subtlties in everything so bare with me :). Continue reading “Through the Storm”

What About Me?

answer-girl-colorI can’t be the only one that has questioned if God had forgotten about me. I know I’m not the only one that has thought that I had done too many things outside of His will that I would be spending my days trying to prove that I was worthy of His love and attention. I believe that some of the most difficult things to discipline are your thoughts. The enemy can take up residence there and have you lose your mind, literally! It’s so dangerous when you don’t know how much God loves you and when you question His heart towards you. If ever you or I have any of those feelings rise up in our spirit again, be reminded of this:

There’s not enough good deeds, “right” decisions, giving of self that we could ever do to deserve God’s love. We don’t do things pleasing to God to earn is love. His love is a gift! All we have to do is receive!! We seek after His will because we want an intimate relationship with Him. It’s the same as a mother and father’s love for their child. They love you from the time you were first formed in the womb. They don’t say “let me find out how obedient he/she is” or “let me see if he/she turns out to be all that I imagine my child to be” before I know if I love them. Their love is unconditional and without warrant. Still, even their love can’t match God’s love. Continue reading “What About Me?”

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