Take Refuge in Love

fergusonThere is no doubt that we are living in a world plagued with unspeakable hate. There are many other words that come to mind but at this very moment “hate” sums up the atmosphere. The self hate, racial hate, gender hate, political hate, and international hate is suffocating. I’ve been watching too much CNN, I admit. My timeline has been plagued with all things “Mike Brown” … #Ferguson #HandsUpDontShoot #NotOneDime #DieIN … and all I want to do is #Breathe. I seriously felt myself giving up last week. I was emotionless. I didn’t feel good or bad. I felt nothing and it scared me a bit. As usual, when I get in my mood, I take time to be alone with God. I didn’t ask a thing. I didn’t have any questions. I simply needed God to deal with my empty emotions and make sense of it. Continue reading “Take Refuge in Love”

Unhappy Tuesday

The day started off abnormal. It was 71 degrees at the end of November after a fierce cold winter blast just days before. I welcomed it with open arms, even though I knew it wouldn’t last long. The day was pretty chill and the evening began with front and center seats to see one of my favorite artists in concert, Chrisette Michele. I knew what lingered ahead but for just a few hours I was able to block it all out and pretend that music was the cure to all of life’s injustices. It was approximately 9:20P when reality hit and I was brought back down to earth. The radio disc jockey announced just two words: NO INDICTMENT. Back to the norm.

fergusonNot at all surprised since we were all being primed for this very outcome. And yes, the days leading up to the announcement gave clear indication that justice would not be served but the priming started well before Mike Brown. Emmitt Till, Rodney King, Sean Bell, Trayvon Martin, and many more names that never made it to the headlines. History repeating itself and the sentiments of fed up Americans sounding like broken records. I had to shut it all off.  I was just so full with anger, sadness, and too many questions without any answers. Continue reading “Unhappy Tuesday”

It’s been a tough few days for our country and for the world. I can’t ignore that fact nor can I sugarcoat it. I just have to be 100% authentic when I say that I’m at a loss to how I’m going to address it all. Emotions are high and operating out of them is never a good thing. So I sit here with the rain teetering off my window trying to figure out how to articulate all the thoughts running through my head without letting emotion take complete control so here goes…

I have to back track a bit. A few months ago, I posted a blog entry titled “Connect the Dots.” As a young girl, I realized early on that I was not skilled at drawing. I could color in the lines perfectly but when it came to creating my own perfect picture, it was a mess. I remember the joy I would get from the books that were designed for a struggling young artist like myself. It started out with a bunch of dots all over the page and no semblance of a picture but as I began to connect the dots it all started to take shape. Though it was super simple there was still an order to the thing. I could have connected the dots any way that I wanted to but the picture wouldn’t have come out right. I had to first either know how to count or how to say the alphabet in order to connect the dots properly. It required attention and a lot of concentration but not on the big picture rather on my knowledge of counting and reciting the alphabet. I did my part and the rest was already aligned to take shape! Sometimes the closest dot wasn’t the dot that I needed to connect to first. It defied what would seem logical in my eyes. If it had not been for the order lined out before me, I would have screwed it up. However, my picture had no other choice but to come out perfect as long as I focused on what I knew. If I tried to figure out the picture without factoring in the order, it would have taken me a lot longer to figure it out and I’m almost guaranteeing you it would have been distorted. Continue reading “#OverIt”

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