Divorced AND Christian? Hmmmm

divorceThe beauty about having a relationship with God over simply doing religion is that you have an open heart to receive messages that are rooted in love and transparency. Pastor Toure Roberts opens his heart to talk on a subject that is deeply rooted in his own personal journey of life after divorce. YES! You heard that right. He is a pastor. He is divorced. Oh and he’s unashamed. Oh and one more thing… HAPPY! Not happy that his marriage didn’t last. No real person enters marriage desiring to be divorced but it takes two mature individuals to recognize what is and is not of God and have the courage to move forward, especially as a spiritual leader.

Now listen, before you throw stones, I come from under a teaching that lives, breaths, and praises all things marriage! My pastors have been married for almost 30 years. They lead an awesome ministry called “Marriage Made EZ” and they offer pre-marital counseling to all members who are contemplating marriage. So I am a huge proponent for marriage. Godly marriage. I desire to be married. I believe that marriage should be something that you do not get out of alive. However, for the first time I witnessed a different side. Not until a few weeks ago did I hear a man of God talk so openly about dividing marriage into two components. Marriages that are ordained of God and those that are entered into outside of the will of God. It’s not to say that all marriages that are done prior to getting saved are doomed. It’s to say that when people grow into their purpose and realize that they are not aligned then it leaves open the question “Is it God’s will for us to sacrifice His purpose in order to save a marriage that wasn’t designed for us?” It’s a heavy topic and one that I’m sure will lead to deep conversations. Which is why I want to try something different this week… Continue reading

Advertisements

Real Comfort Food

sunset-straight-road-1920x1080In the perfect world, I would get up every morning excited about the day that lies ahead, especially on Tuesday when it’s time to release my blog post. The truth is, although I’m grateful for every day that God blesses me with, I’m not always all that thrilled about what the day brings. For the past few weeks, I’ve had quite a few down moments. Moments when I wish I was under an invisible cloak so that I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone or anything until I could get it together. Of course, that wish never came true and when I thought I was about to completely lose it, I retreated to the Word. It’s a shame to admit that much of what I was going through was because I was focusing on all the things that were not going in my favor. Instead of praying, I was worrying… and worrying a lot. Eventually I stilled my mind long enough to disappear into the pages that redefine the meaning of comfort food. Continue reading

I Need Just A Little More Jesus… What??

erica-campbell-all-white-long-hairIt wasn’t too long after I turned on the radio that I heard Erica Campbell’s newest single “I Need Just A Little More Jesus.” I actually heard the song a few times before and thought to myself … “What??” But this time I listened to as much of it as I could stand and promptly turned it off! I’d rather ride home in silence. I know, I know… how dare I say something about a gospel song with the name “JESUS” in it?! Well here’s the thing, I’m not moved by religion, I’m moved by relationship. In any relationship you must know the person you call “friend.” I’ve spent enough time learning Him to know through His own words that He’s done all that He is going to do. What more can you ask of someone who died for you? He not only died but resurrected and is with us every single moment of our lives. He is known as “I AM” meaning everything you will ever need He is. So tell me what more can He be for you or do for you?? …. I’ll wait. The truth is we tend to not recognize His presence until we’re beat up and torn down by our way of life. The song would make sense if it was about needing to make more time for Jesus but the way it is now is just dumb. Yes dumb. Continue reading

MAN CRUSH MOMENT (MCM)

In the midst of one of my worst weeks ever, God showed me that He was still moving on my behalf and that my purpose was not going to be sidetracked by my pain. After a few months of talks with the founder of Defined By Christ magazine, I got the email that I’d been waiting on. My first relationship article would be published the following morning! You have to understand that I was in a slump! Nothing was going right and I honestly had forgotten about all that was in the works… until that email. The connection began after posting my most viewed blog post ever titled “Wifey” a few months back. I received emails from all types of people and I was offered many opportunities. The offer from DBC magazine was one of the ones I took seriously and it has come to fruition!

Last week I posted the link to the article to my social media accounts but I wanted to make sure my loyal readers, who may not be connected to me outside of the blog, had a chance to read it. I’m humbled by opportunities that have presented themselves to me and the divine connections that I’ve made over the past few months. I don’t take this assignment lightly and I look forward to seeing what’s next! Until then, I’ll get settled in to my new role as a relationship columnist for DBC magazine!! Hope you enjoy the read…

Continue reading

Uncharted Territory

george-tandy-jrI witnessed something remarkable this morning. So much so, I had to reschedule the post I originally planned and squeeze in a few minutes to write this one. The Steve Harvey Morning Show gives me life some days! Aside from the foolishness that gets me laughing and helps me wake up in the morning (I’m so not a morning person!), it’s usually something Steve says or does that motivates me and inspires me to keep pushing. Today was one of those special mornings. I tuned in at the end of a song that I may have heard a few times on the radio but not much. I stuck around to see who the artist was and to my surprise Steve Harvey had him on the phone. His name is George Tandy Jr. and the song is called March.” I mean, I thought it was a great song but nothing could prepare me for the awesome display of support from Steve. Continue reading

Go Deep

“The best things in life are often inconvenient. Pearls and diamonds are hard to get to but worth the effort.” ~ Steve Harvey

A few weeks ago, God spoke to me through a message on “Blessed Inconvenience.” Basically it was about making yourself available for others even if it doesn’t fit in with your plans or your routine. You aren’t always going to have control over your day, your week, or months to come when you are operating in His will instead of your own. I got it… it blessed me and not even a week later I experienced at least 3 events that were a total inconvenience to me but when it was said and done, I was happy to have obeyed. Continue reading

I Need You, You Need Me

“… in Leviticus 26:8 and Deuteronomy 32:30, we’re told that “…one can put a thousand to flight but two will put ten thousand to flight.” We can do TEN TIMES more together than we can by ourselves! God was intentional about creating us so that we would need one another. We must be intentional in engaging in community with our brothers and sisters in Christ, because we need one another. We are more powerful together. Together we are an unstoppable force.” ~ excerpt from Victory World Church 21 Day Fast

There’s a song that we sing sometimes at my church where we join hands as a family and sing “I need you… you need me. We’re all a part of God’s body. Stand with me. Agree with me. We’re all a part of God’s family.” I thought of this song as I was reading the devotion for Day 15 of my fast. We sing it but do we truly believe it? There are things that happen in life inside and outside of church that have caused us to harden our hearts to people. I know that I have fell victim to the “All I need in life is Jesus” mentality and although He is the most essential part of my life, I’ve matured in knowing that I need others as well. God is people minded. He values community and unions, hence the significance of marriage.

In this month’s issue of Essence, there’s a great article about Steve and Marjorie Harvey. Now, I know some people may have some hang ups about the advice that Steve offers but there were some points made in the article that made me appreciate the couple for their commitment to each other. Continue reading

Wifey

ludacrisThere will be days when I’m more unapologetic for my viewpoints than others… today would be that day! I just might piss a few people off. Me saying “piss” may have already done the trick but hey… can’t please everyone. So…. The news about Dwyane Wade’s and Ludacris’ new baby mama drama has me on fire! And probably not for the reason you’re expecting to hear. Yes, it’s foul to be in a relationship with a woman for YEARS and father a child by another woman. In most cases I would call the other women “randoms” but I’m not certain that would apply in this case given the information that both women were from the men’s past; as far back as high school for Ludacris. Yes, it’s unfortunate that beautiful women in the spotlight give such a bad name to women in general when they decide to stick it out with men who would devalue them that much. But what’s even more disgusting is the fact that there’s any amount of sympathy for their “main chicks.”  I mean let’s be real, what makes Gabrielle Union and Eudoxie any better than the “baby mamas.” Yeah I said it, and here’s why… Continue reading

What About Me?

answer-girl-colorI can’t be the only one that has questioned if God had forgotten about me. I know I’m not the only one that has thought that I had done too many things outside of His will that I would be spending my days trying to prove that I was worthy of His love and attention. I believe that some of the most difficult things to discipline are your thoughts. The enemy can take up residence there and have you lose your mind, literally! It’s so dangerous when you don’t know how much God loves you and when you question His heart towards you. If ever you or I have any of those feelings rise up in our spirit again, be reminded of this:

There’s not enough good deeds, “right” decisions, giving of self that we could ever do to deserve God’s love. We don’t do things pleasing to God to earn is love. His love is a gift! All we have to do is receive!! We seek after His will because we want an intimate relationship with Him. It’s the same as a mother and father’s love for their child. They love you from the time you were first formed in the womb. They don’t say “let me find out how obedient he/she is” or “let me see if he/she turns out to be all that I imagine my child to be” before I know if I love them. Their love is unconditional and without warrant. Still, even their love can’t match God’s love. Continue reading

Refueled

“Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21

In December 2012, the plan was to dissolve “The BOLD & The FABULOUS” blog, which for me meant my blogging run was over. I wasn’t upset about it at all. Although I loved it, I knew that everything had its season and that we had a great run while it lasted. Now it was on to other things. Little did I know that my involvement with “The BOLD & The FABULOUS” was preparation for me to come from behind the scenes to find my voice and build enough confidence to share it with the world. If you look back to my very first blog in July 2010, you will read all about my hesitations. I won’t drill down on that any more than necessary, but just know that it was not my desire to share my stories with the world. However, as my relationship with God grew, my desires began to take a backseat and it became more important for me to fulfill His purpose for my life. Continue reading