I Don’t Know

I-Don’t-Know.

Three words I absolutely hate to say and definitely never like to hear. But I uttered those words last night. I actually said them a few weeks ago and both times I couldn’t believe I actually said them out loud. I don’t ever claim to know it ALL but what I do believe in is finding out. If ever someone asked me a question related to work and I didn’t have an answer, it was never just “I don’t know.” It would be either “I’m not certain that I have all the information so let me review and get to back to you close of business” … or “Give me a moment and I’ll find out.” Both insinuate that I don’t have the answer but it’s never a blanket statement of “I don’t know.”

The biggest no-no for me is to always, and I mean always have a plan and what bigger plan can you have than the one you have for your life. I mean it’s your life! If you don’t know then who else is going to be able to tell you?? That has been my thinking forever and in many ways it still is so when I said “I Don’t Know” when asked about my life plans last night I felt like a complete loser. But I had to be honest and I truly had and still have no idea what’s next. Scariest feeling ever for someone who has always known her next move. I had to slow my mind down enough to get back on course and I can say now that I have a new and refreshed understanding of what all this planning is about. Continue reading “I Don’t Know”

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RESTART

restart I love how God uses everyday, nominal occurrences to grab my attention. Let me paint the picture for you. I’m sitting at my writing desk wrapping up Sunday online service when that annoying pop up banner appears with the same pesky alert that reads something like “Update available. Do you want to restart your computer?” The options read: RESTART or LATER. For months, I’ve hit the LATER button continuously irritated that it just won’t go away!  It’s not that I don’t think the updates are necessary. I don’t have a particular issue with updating my computer; however, what I do have an issue with is how long it usually takes to complete. When I take time out to sit at my computer to do anything I want to do it now. I don’t think about completing the updates any other time. It’s only when I get that pesky pop up that I think, “I should really do that but I don’t have time.”

I literally had the cursor hovering above the LATER button when I stopped dead in my tracks. Images flooded my mind of my computer taking forever to load, or the video buffering while I’m trying to watch them, or site freezing in the midst of me scrolling. Then the question arises, “Why do you think you have so many challenges when you’re trying to complete a task on your computer? Should you just replace the entire computer? Is it trash or could it have anything to do with those pesky little updates that you’ve continued to ignore over the past few months?”……This is where the moment of sheer stupidity and revelation mix. Continue reading “RESTART”

Real Comfort Food

sunset-straight-road-1920x1080In the perfect world, I would get up every morning excited about the day that lies ahead, especially on Tuesday when it’s time to release my blog post. The truth is, although I’m grateful for every day that God blesses me with, I’m not always all that thrilled about what the day brings. For the past few weeks, I’ve had quite a few down moments. Moments when I wish I was under an invisible cloak so that I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone or anything until I could get it together. Of course, that wish never came true and when I thought I was about to completely lose it, I retreated to the Word. It’s a shame to admit that much of what I was going through was because I was focusing on all the things that were not going in my favor. Instead of praying, I was worrying… and worrying a lot. Eventually I stilled my mind long enough to disappear into the pages that redefine the meaning of comfort food. Continue reading “Real Comfort Food”

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