I Don’t Know

I-Don’t-Know.

Three words I absolutely hate to say and definitely never like to hear. But I uttered those words last night. I actually said them a few weeks ago and both times I couldn’t believe I actually said them out loud. I don’t ever claim to know it ALL but what I do believe in is finding out. If ever someone asked me a question related to work and I didn’t have an answer, it was never just “I don’t know.” It would be either “I’m not certain that I have all the information so let me review and get to back to you close of business” … or “Give me a moment and I’ll find out.” Both insinuate that I don’t have the answer but it’s never a blanket statement of “I don’t know.”

The biggest no-no for me is to always, and I mean always have a plan and what bigger plan can you have than the one you have for your life. I mean it’s your life! If you don’t know then who else is going to be able to tell you?? That has been my thinking forever and in many ways it still is so when I said “I Don’t Know” when asked about my life plans last night I felt like a complete loser. But I had to be honest and I truly had and still have no idea what’s next. Scariest feeling ever for someone who has always known her next move. I had to slow my mind down enough to get back on course and I can say now that I have a new and refreshed understanding of what all this planning is about. Continue reading “I Don’t Know”

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The Little Teddy Bear

Before I can fully engage you with my thoughts from the premiere episode of “The Same Room,” I  must first layout how much of a full circle moment this is for me. Six years ago I attended an event called “The Merge Summit” in Los Angeles where I was first introduced to a man name Toure’ Roberts. He was a guest speaker at one of our opening morning sessions and with every word he spoke it was like he was speaking directly into my life. From that day on I’ve been a follower of his ministry called One Church LA (now known as The Potter’s House at One LA and Denver).

Just about 4 years ago I moved to New York and became a listener of his podcast. I would listen to his sermons daily just to push me through the scariest, most uncertain time of my life. One day I selected a sermon and to my surprise it was a voice that I hadn’t heard before. It was a woman named Stephanie Ike who was a guest speaker at One Church LA. I  ALMOST immediately skipped it because she wasn’t someone I had heard of and let’s face it, she was like the substitute teacher. But then I thought that if Toure’ thought so highly of her to have her fill in for him while he was away she had to be pretty dynamic. So instead I listened intently and it wasn’t that long before I was completely drawn in. She had voice, she had a presence, and she most certainly had a Word! Continue reading “The Little Teddy Bear”

Real Comfort Food

sunset-straight-road-1920x1080In the perfect world, I would get up every morning excited about the day that lies ahead, especially on Tuesday when it’s time to release my blog post. The truth is, although I’m grateful for every day that God blesses me with, I’m not always all that thrilled about what the day brings. For the past few weeks, I’ve had quite a few down moments. Moments when I wish I was under an invisible cloak so that I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone or anything until I could get it together. Of course, that wish never came true and when I thought I was about to completely lose it, I retreated to the Word. It’s a shame to admit that much of what I was going through was because I was focusing on all the things that were not going in my favor. Instead of praying, I was worrying… and worrying a lot. Eventually I stilled my mind long enough to disappear into the pages that redefine the meaning of comfort food. Continue reading “Real Comfort Food”

Trophy

“What’s the move? Can I tell the truth? If I was doing this for you. Then I have nothing left to prove…” ~ Drake

My friend put it best when she said, “I can take the meat from something and discard the bones.” She was speaking in reference to receiving the “meat” from a lesson and discarding any untruths. In her case, she was referring to different styles of pastors. In my case, I’m referring to any person that has a voice and platform whether it be spiritual or secular. Now I know that may not be the church’s idea of what’s appropriate but it’s one of the many ways that God speaks to me. It’s a beautiful thing when you walk in the freedom that comes with knowing the God you serve and hearing his voice in the midst of so many other voices including your own. There are days when I may want to listen rap lyrics or indulge in gossip sites and I fall back because I feel led to listen to a lesson from a pastor or mentor, read a book, or play a praise and worship CD. I may not be in the mood for it at the moment but every time I obey, I get a reward for it. Something about what I’m listening to will speak to a situation I’m experiencing directly or prepare me for something lying ahead of me that day. Continue reading “Trophy”

“First Name: LUKE, Last Name: WARM”

This month is all about LOVE so I had to share a spoken word piece presented by one of my favorites. Check it out:

I love poetry and spoken word!! It is a powerful art form and when the topic can speak life to you, it’s the best medicine. I sincerely wish that these words came directly from my lips because it’s exactly what I would say to my “husband.” Powerful words by one of my favorites and someone I desire to work with in the very near future: Jeanette ikz.

photoI found this performance years ago and it still resonates with me. She captured perfectly what’s buried in my heart for “the One.” But even more so she exudes the love that we should have for ourselves just to be able to conquer those feelings of disappointment and hurt. I only felt it right to share with my readers because of how hard I went IN on women a few weeks ago. The need for status, money, and attention weighs so heavy that women will sacrifice their bodies, their integrity, and their happiness for the material luxuries that men afford them. It’s refreshing to see glimpses of Proverbs 31 women in this day. They’re the women who may not be in the same spotlight but who seek God’s perfect love and in turn seek the love of a Godly man who will honor them. Given the examples we have, it seems a distant dream but those that are built on a firm foundation will not tire out. We will wait and we will believe that “he” will soon make his presence known. No time for “sorta kindas” or “Luke Warms!” Enjoy the video!!

Happy Tuesday!

Love, Bianca

Duck Dynasty

I’m beginning to think that God likes setting me up. No really, I write and schedule my blogs well in advance and as fate would have it, my “Duck Dynasty” blog would come out a week shy of Phil Robertson flat-lining his career in reality TV. If you haven’t heard by now, Phil has been removed indefinitely from the hit show “Duck Dynasty” after making some very crude comments against the LGBT community, as well as racially offensive comments. I really wanted to trash this post altogether after that news was released. How would people receive this message now after all the negative publicity? I’m thinking this could go wrong real fast. That lasted just a moment until I remembered who was in control so I’m trusting His timing. Regardless of the recent occurrence, I still believe that there’s a message in the video selected. I just hope you all can listen to it with fresh ears no matter what your feelings are towards him as a person. So here goes…

Continue reading “Duck Dynasty”

The Little Things…

There are not many times when I’m left speechless, but this past week was one of those rare times. I got a serious lesson on “gratitude” the other day when I received a phone call from my dad. We talk regularly so it was nothing out of the norm but after the initial exchange of pleasantries, he began to tell a “funny” story about a close family friend who I lovingly call my uncle. He told me that my uncle has yet to open the Christmas gift I gave him TWO YEARS AGO!! My first reaction was complete disbelief and a bit of confusion. Then when he began to share the details of how it was still perfectly wrapped as if he’d just received it yesterday, we broke out into laughter. We joked about how crazy he was and how we wished he would just open the box!! I remember saying, “I hope by the time he opens it, he’s not disappointed. It’s nothing big… it’s just a George Foreman grill!!” I laughed but my dad ensured me he would not be disappointed… to him it was much bigger than the gift. Continue reading “The Little Things…”

Desires of My Heart

Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.”

There is truly no greater joy than knowing that you are living a life pleasing to God. Obedience is never easy when your Will is constantly competing with His Will. The sooner you are able to let go and give it all over, the sooner you will begin to see the rewards of your faithfulness. It’s a daily decision. Don’t think for a minute that the moment you get saved that you automatically understand what it means to truly walk out a Christian lifestyle. I’ve received Christ at age 13 and trust that I am still learning and seeking wisdom in every area.

Continue reading “Desires of My Heart”

ANGEL: SPECIAL DELIVERY

Do you believe in angels? No, not the ones on TV with halos, in all white, and big broad wings. I’m talking about everyday, average looking people who come into your life and breathe new life into you…if only for a moment. They introduce you to new experiences, new ways of thinking, building you up and telling you what you NEED to hear, not what you want to hear. You know, that person who when they speak to you, you feel that God is using them as a connector. It’s not that He won’t speak to us directly, but many of us haven’t matured enough in our hearing to distinguish His voice… so God will use His people to do the job. It’s funny because often when He does speak to us, we refer to Him as “something.” You know you’ve said it, “something told me to walk away”… or “something told me that was a set up.”

Continue reading “ANGEL: SPECIAL DELIVERY”

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