The Universal Love Language

LoveLanguagesRecently I was asked about my love languages and had no idea what they were. So I took the test and discovered that I interpret love through Acts of Service and Quality Time. No surprises there! I’m all about showing verses telling. People can say anything but what they do is what matters most. I’m also a big believer that how someone chooses to spend their time is a good indication of what they value. You can’t love me and have to pencil me into your schedule. Loving me means making me a priority. Not the only priority but definitely a priority. Continue reading

MRS. RICE

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It’s with mixed emotions that I write this celebratory post in honor of my 1 year Anniversary going “solo” as a blogger. I didn’t intend for it to cover such a heavy, controversial topic. It was supposed to be light hearted and fun… you  know, something with lots of pictures to introduce the rebranding of the vision and the new layout. But after a day of going back and forth about what I wanted to do verses what needed to be done, I settled myself in the fact that this blog is a reflection of what’s important to me and that’s being a voice and a light to those who I’m called to serve. Although I welcome EVERYONE to visit, comment, follow, and share… this blog targets women. Young women. So how could I, with good conscience, ignore a story that has been highly oversaturating the news front since yesterday morning? Interesting enough it’s been with very little attention on the victim of the incident. I’m speaking about Janay Rice. Yes, she has a name. It’s not on the back of a football jersey. It’s not the most recognizable but it’s a name that matters. This is my take on the situation and it may not be the most popular but I’ve never really cared about popular opinion so here goes… Continue reading

Divorced AND Christian… The Response.

Well, I asked for feedback and you all did not disappoint! I loved reading each and every one of them whether I agreed with all of it or not. Let me just say that I find this to be a very complicated subject and it may have everything to do with the fact that I haven’t done my due diligence to really seek out the Word in its entirety to understand the idea of an “ordained marriage.” After this, I vow to do so that, right or wrong, I can have a clear stance on the topic and back it with scripture which I believe is very important. It’s not a matter of opinion. It’s all about truth and “The Truth” comes from the Bible. So I’m going to highlight a few comments and share a little of what I think as it relates to them. So let’s go! Continue reading

Divorced AND Christian? Hmmmm

divorceThe beauty about having a relationship with God over simply doing religion is that you have an open heart to receive messages that are rooted in love and transparency. Pastor Toure Roberts opens his heart to talk on a subject that is deeply rooted in his own personal journey of life after divorce. YES! You heard that right. He is a pastor. He is divorced. Oh and he’s unashamed. Oh and one more thing… HAPPY! Not happy that his marriage didn’t last. No real person enters marriage desiring to be divorced but it takes two mature individuals to recognize what is and is not of God and have the courage to move forward, especially as a spiritual leader.

Now listen, before you throw stones, I come from under a teaching that lives, breaths, and praises all things marriage! My pastors have been married for almost 30 years. They lead an awesome ministry called “Marriage Made EZ” and they offer pre-marital counseling to all members who are contemplating marriage. So I am a huge proponent for marriage. Godly marriage. I desire to be married. I believe that marriage should be something that you do not get out of alive. However, for the first time I witnessed a different side. Not until a few weeks ago did I hear a man of God talk so openly about dividing marriage into two components. Marriages that are ordained of God and those that are entered into outside of the will of God. It’s not to say that all marriages that are done prior to getting saved are doomed. It’s to say that when people grow into their purpose and realize that they are not aligned then it leaves open the question “Is it God’s will for us to sacrifice His purpose in order to save a marriage that wasn’t designed for us?” It’s a heavy topic and one that I’m sure will lead to deep conversations. Which is why I want to try something different this week… Continue reading

The Heavy Weight Type

workout
On the surface it’s a cute picture that makes the girls go “Awww” and the guys go….. Well I think their responses will be quite varied but that’s to be expected. What started out as a simple Instagram post morphed into something much bigger the more I studied it. The choices we make in relationships are all about our perceptions. We can look at the same set of circumstances and come away with completely different opinions based on what we’ve experienced and/or desire in the future. What do you see when you look at this photo? Continue reading

MAN CRUSH MOMENT (MCM)

In the midst of one of my worst weeks ever, God showed me that He was still moving on my behalf and that my purpose was not going to be sidetracked by my pain. After a few months of talks with the founder of Defined By Christ magazine, I got the email that I’d been waiting on. My first relationship article would be published the following morning! You have to understand that I was in a slump! Nothing was going right and I honestly had forgotten about all that was in the works… until that email. The connection began after posting my most viewed blog post ever titled “Wifey” a few months back. I received emails from all types of people and I was offered many opportunities. The offer from DBC magazine was one of the ones I took seriously and it has come to fruition!

Last week I posted the link to the article to my social media accounts but I wanted to make sure my loyal readers, who may not be connected to me outside of the blog, had a chance to read it. I’m humbled by opportunities that have presented themselves to me and the divine connections that I’ve made over the past few months. I don’t take this assignment lightly and I look forward to seeing what’s next! Until then, I’ll get settled in to my new role as a relationship columnist for DBC magazine!! Hope you enjoy the read…

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I Need You, You Need Me

“… in Leviticus 26:8 and Deuteronomy 32:30, we’re told that “…one can put a thousand to flight but two will put ten thousand to flight.” We can do TEN TIMES more together than we can by ourselves! God was intentional about creating us so that we would need one another. We must be intentional in engaging in community with our brothers and sisters in Christ, because we need one another. We are more powerful together. Together we are an unstoppable force.” ~ excerpt from Victory World Church 21 Day Fast

There’s a song that we sing sometimes at my church where we join hands as a family and sing “I need you… you need me. We’re all a part of God’s body. Stand with me. Agree with me. We’re all a part of God’s family.” I thought of this song as I was reading the devotion for Day 15 of my fast. We sing it but do we truly believe it? There are things that happen in life inside and outside of church that have caused us to harden our hearts to people. I know that I have fell victim to the “All I need in life is Jesus” mentality and although He is the most essential part of my life, I’ve matured in knowing that I need others as well. God is people minded. He values community and unions, hence the significance of marriage.

In this month’s issue of Essence, there’s a great article about Steve and Marjorie Harvey. Now, I know some people may have some hang ups about the advice that Steve offers but there were some points made in the article that made me appreciate the couple for their commitment to each other. Continue reading

Wifey

ludacrisThere will be days when I’m more unapologetic for my viewpoints than others… today would be that day! I just might piss a few people off. Me saying “piss” may have already done the trick but hey… can’t please everyone. So…. The news about Dwyane Wade’s and Ludacris’ new baby mama drama has me on fire! And probably not for the reason you’re expecting to hear. Yes, it’s foul to be in a relationship with a woman for YEARS and father a child by another woman. In most cases I would call the other women “randoms” but I’m not certain that would apply in this case given the information that both women were from the men’s past; as far back as high school for Ludacris. Yes, it’s unfortunate that beautiful women in the spotlight give such a bad name to women in general when they decide to stick it out with men who would devalue them that much. But what’s even more disgusting is the fact that there’s any amount of sympathy for their “main chicks.”  I mean let’s be real, what makes Gabrielle Union and Eudoxie any better than the “baby mamas.” Yeah I said it, and here’s why… Continue reading

Duck Dynasty

I’m beginning to think that God likes setting me up. No really, I write and schedule my blogs well in advance and as fate would have it, my “Duck Dynasty” blog would come out a week shy of Phil Robertson flat-lining his career in reality TV. If you haven’t heard by now, Phil has been removed indefinitely from the hit show “Duck Dynasty” after making some very crude comments against the LGBT community, as well as racially offensive comments. I really wanted to trash this post altogether after that news was released. How would people receive this message now after all the negative publicity? I’m thinking this could go wrong real fast. That lasted just a moment until I remembered who was in control so I’m trusting His timing. Regardless of the recent occurrence, I still believe that there’s a message in the video selected. I just hope you all can listen to it with fresh ears no matter what your feelings are towards him as a person. So here goes…

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PURE S.E.X

imagesIt’s taken me FOREVER to write this blog! At this point I’ve had over 7 revisions and there’s sure to be more by the time it’s posted. I thought it was writers block, which is common for me. However, I’m starting to see that I needed to read/see/hear something that would set the overall tone. I believe that happened  after watching a web video called “The Solution Summit.” A forum where people come together to discuss various topics and shed their light on their views in an unapologetic, unadulterated way. Anywho, the question was posed to a Christian on whether he believed in sex before marriage. Here’s his reply:

“My thoughts are it’s okay depending on the reasons for it. If it’s something you get into to make sure you’re getting into the right situation with somebody. But if it’s something different … if it’s a religious thing then it’s a whole other conversation to be had.” Continue reading